A lot has happened in the last year and this bitchy moany thing about music doesn't cut it.
I've changed my life beyond all recognition - and it had to be done.
A grotesque lump of self-deluded lard who slumped in his own feculance day after day, not doing shit. It's funny how depression is self-feeding. The more you fall into it, the worse it gets.
So I stopped this. It didn't seem healthy. I dieted. I have taken up running. I changed my job. I've stopped doing certain things which were unhealthy. However, bad things happened too. I spent 3 months nursing a relative through their last days.
What this means is that this site is no longer completely relevant to my life. In a way it was all I had, as I had cut everything else out. But I had to add things back in. I spent 16 years essentially hiding from the outside world. Not progressing myself at all. I spoke to people, but it was a puppet, making acceptable noises.
So what to do.... I get addicted quickly. All sorts of things. I got addicted to healthy eating. To the point of borderline OCD and malnutrition. I got addicted to running. Bust my knees, blisters covered my feet. It's not healthy. The good is that I lost a lot of weight and am a bit fitter. The bad is that my mind is all over the place all of the time.
Getting serotonin running through your veins instead of non-prescription medicine is an odd thing to get used to. I'm more emotional, sensitive and my moods go higher and lower. Yes, yes, I've turned into an even bigger woman than I was before. You win a prize Mr comedian.
I found writing helped with some issues I was dealing with before, and perhaps it will again. So I will be writing about music again. And weight loss and running and dealing with shit. When and how often - I do not know. But I start now.
The Who - Behind Blue Eyes.
I had spent an evening browsing YouTube (at this point I still hadn't re-joined My Single Friend) and came across just the bass of john Entwhistle playing Won't Be fooled Again. Great stuff. And YouTube bing YouTube - an hour later you are still there clicking around. And I came across this beauty.
I must have listened to this a dozen times the next day.